I've been jealous for a certain person for over two years.
It started just after when I met her at the highest ESL class started in January, 2003. She was very smart and seemed to have no difficulties in the class. But I, who had nearly passed the lower course, struggled to keep up the class. (I failed that highest course in the end.)
I kept this intense jealousy very long, but I also tried to overcome this feeling. Very slowly, the jealous weakened as I get new views. I realized that there are infinitely many levels in human intelligence; there are many people who are much clever than her or much lower than me. And I also learned the effects of having a better person in front of my eyes.
One day, about the time I almost forget that jealous, I realized one thing. I realized that I had been jealous for just a phantasm which I had created in my mind.
Because I'd seen her and I'd talked her, I thought that was the person herself. But this image was just an illusion. I had created the image based on my limited memory.
So my strong jealousy played in big role in helping me understand how I create my own reality.
I guess I even have to thank for that jealous.
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